Alright, darling, let’s get real about the tangled web of relationships, shall we? This may come off a bit bold, but welcome to the inner workings of my fierce, fabulous mind. As a beautiful, powerful, artistic and successful black woman in my late 30’s, I often reflect on how first impressions can either unlock the proverbial door to something special or slam it shut. Honestly, the way a man approaches me sets the tone for everything that follows—no sugarcoating here!
However, as this has become a disappearing art in an era where swiping left and right has become the go-to method for finding love, I can’t help but stand firm on the sidelines, arms crossed and eyebrow raised, like a queen surveying her kingdom. As a nearly 40-year-old woman, I’ve witnessed countless trends come and go, but the online dating saga? It’s a full-blown circus, and I’m not interested in purchasing a ticket to that show.
“The beautiful art of genuine conversation has been largely replaced by a flurry of emojis and witty one-liners, and let’s be real—how can you truly forge a deep connection with someone when you’re merely interacting through a screen?”
Now, let me clarify something: I’m not here to throw shade at anyone who discovers love through their smartphone. If you’ve managed to swipe your way into a fulfilling relationship, more power to you! However, for me personally, the thought of navigating the dating scene in such a digital landscape feels oddly… devoid of warmth or intuitive verbal practice. In truth, what that really means is any man who can’t speak to me between my ears definitely cannot speak to the kitty cat between my legs.
Let’s address the elephant in the room: the intersection of sex and emotional connectivity. In today’s fast-paced world, sex is as easy to come by as ordering a meal through a delivery app. Insert Uber Eats add here please … Ching Ching. $$$$
However, let’s not conflate physical intimacy with emotional closeness. I desire much more than just a casual encounter; I long for a connection that runs deep, something profound that resonates with my soul. Ironically, in this hyper-connected age, true emotional connections seem to be increasingly rare.
Now in my late 30s, I have a sharper sense of what I seek in a partner. I want laughter that fills the space, conversations that resonate long after they end, and those electrifying moments that leave a lasting impression. I want to feel the warmth of someone beside me, not just a pixelated version of them flashing across my phone screen. Real relationships demand time and effort—two elements that swiping often neglects.
I’ve heard the common arguments: “But online dating gives you a wider selection!” Sure, if you consider a never-ending parade of beta-cocks on steroids as an option. Yet, I’d much rather take my time and meet people in the real world, allowing chemistry to develop naturally. An awkward first date over coffee? Bring it on! I’d choose that over a chat filled with forced banter, stilted pauses and crafted cringeworthy innuendos that dance between reality and digital fantasy; where the screen becomes a mask for outrageous escapades one could never pull off in the cold light of day.
Let’s face facts; I’m not here to settle for anything less than extraordinary. I’m in search of fireworks, a blazing passion, and a connection that leaves me breathless. I refuse to believe that my only pathway to love lies within the confines of an app. My heart deserves more than just a flick of the thumb; it deserves the richness of authentic human connection. I believe we all deserve that: we deserve a little more zing in our dating lives!
Even the poor “tweenties-minded” divorcé, who seems to have misplaced their midlife crisis right next to their collection of cat memes, isn’t just someone else’s homework assignment. We all need a friendly nudge to remember who we are and where we stand in this wild ride called sex and dating. It’s that spark of electricity that reminds us to unmute ourselves—no more scrolling through screens like zombies! Instead, let’s open our mouths and our minds, seeking real connections instead of just virtual high-fives. After all, who wants to exist in a 2D world when we can thrive in full color?
So, here’s my heartfelt message for all the fabulous he/she’s and theys out there:
“Don’t allow the fear of remaining single to push you into a realm that doesn’t resonate with your true self. The right relationship will undoubtedly arrive when you least expect it—perhaps during an impromptu outing, while “browsing” in a bookstore, or even during a mundane trip to the grocery store. Embrace the unexpected and hold your standards high.”
While many individuals are preoccupied with swiping through endless profiles, I’ll be out there, living life fully and authentically, ready to embrace whatever comes my way. After all, the most meaningful connections often blossom when you’re not actively searching for them. So, who’s with me on this journey? Let’s celebrate the beauty of real, unfiltered mindfucks. And if you find yourself there, revel in the wild, unapologetic chaos of raw, unfiltered connection—where the sparks fly and the boundaries dissolve. Embrace the deliciously messy, earth-shattering, and exhilarating dance of passion that defies all norms.